DISCLAIMER
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Sunday, June 10, 2007
It's Kitty Season
Luckily, she only had two kitty's. I was told to try and dump them at the local chapter of Kitty's For Us. Instead, I found myself standing in front of the local super markets trying to be a responsible pet owner. It actually turned out to be great therapy for me.
First I went to the upper-class snobbish grocery store. I reasoned that the people who frequented these kinds of stores had extra money to spend and my kitty's would find a good responsible pet owner.
I ran up to some people asking them if they wanted a free kitty. I met a lot of wretched couples; couples who had that look of discuss with me, the world, and themselves.
After a day of nothingness, I went home to rationalize some more. I would go to the cheap discount grocery store and hang out there.
Since I realized that people want what they cannot have, I used a theory to see how far it would go. The theory was successful. I layed back and let the people's curiosity carry them over to the cute little kitty's I had in the box.
One lady said she would take both my kitty's but that she just got rid of several in exchange for a puppy. One young man said he had just got a kitty but that it didn't get its shots. But, still he wanted another. I told him that he would have to get his mother and bring her over to talk to me. And, then he did. I convinced him that if he didn't even give shots to his first kitty, how would he be able to afford another? He said it was for his brother. I told him then that he would have to go get his brother.
One older man told me to hold on to his kitty; that he had to go into the store to buy some beer; and, for me not to give away his kitty. While I was standing there I began to wonder if he got drunk, would he step on the kitty? When the guy came out, he ranted about how his wife would kill him if he came home with a kitty. So, then I told him that maybe he had better go ask his wife. After all, I told him, she would be the one taking care of it while he wondered off getting in some other mischief. He said that was a good idea and went to ask his wife. Funny thing. I didn't think guys ever had to ask their wives for anything. He never came back.
Many people were friendly at the discount grocery store. And, actually, my jaws were beginning to hurt from smiling. One lady said her last kitty went out into the street and never came back. They were saying everything a responsible pet owner didn't want to hear. I told another interested lady that I didn't understand how pet owners adopt animals and then give them up. You're suppose to stay with them until the end. The interested lady who had five Chihuahua's continued to kiss and cuddle the kitty until she promised she would keep it until the end.
After a while, the younger man's brother came back. He was determined to adopt the last kitty. I tried vehemently to dissuade him. Then the truth came out. He wanted this kitty because he had tried to take his brother's kitty but his little brother objected. He stood there with his arms folded while I overloaded him with a thorough screening. Finally, I gave in and gave it to him. He promised me that he would not let me down and that he would take care of the kitty until the end. And, I believed him because I could tell that gay man's lisp as I've heard many times throughout my life from responsible, loving, pet owners.
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